Singing, the Parenting Olympics, and the School Musical

I, Chispa's mother, love to sing. I sang my heart out in services in youth group, it was a forum for singing! I sang in choirs all through High School and college, and grad. school, and even recently, in a community choir. I have always sung to Chispa and Changa since they were little wee things. Mr. H is a drummer, and the kids love to drum with him. This is a good thing, as rhythm is undeniably my weak point, to Mr. H's horror. Mr. H can also pick up songs on the guitar to rock out to. He knows enough chords to manage most of what the kids demand. Usually! Or they will be vexed, so watch out.

Naturally, given this inevitable onslaught of music here and there, Chispa loved the two songs she learned at school for her school musical, and naturally, was drawn into being in the school musical production. This wouldn't be surprising, except that Chispa was rankly terrified by her experience in kiddie theater. The throngs of kids from other classes she didn't know, and the crush of loud, clapping family members made her cower pathetically behind other classmates, in sensory shut down, uttering not a word of her lines. Needless to say, we were all proud of Chispa when she said "I want to be in the show, and have the proud feeling, not the scared feeling." Of course, we were also crossing our fingers and fervently praying that our daring, self-aware progeny would turn this into a triumph, and not add it to a collection, in order to form a more perfect phobia, as it were.

Chispa was passionately vexed when she discovered the older kids had flashy sparkly cute outfits, and the Kindergartners merely got recycled solid red T shirts. Who wouldn't be vexed? The complex reality of this, though, is that Chispa used this as one of several spiral points, to spiral down from, into not wanting to be in the show.

This came to a head when I picked her up from school Thursday pre-1st show. She had absolutely detonated at school. She'd detonated to the point that the teacher called me on my cell, befuddled and exasperated. I, the mother, I knew. I explained that while it was Not An Excuse For Horrid Six Year Olds, this was a prime example of Chispa in anxiety freak out mode. She became so tightly wound, that she flipped the pickle out, all day. She laughed louder, was silly more inappropriately, and generally lost all of her self-control buttons. No wonder her teacher was vexed.

Damage control began. From 3pm pickup until 6:30pm curtain call, I, the mother was in the Mental Mothering Olympics, whereby I tried to convince my progeny that she could do it. She wanted to do it. She would like to be in the show. She promised she was in the show. I got "leave me alone, I do not want to talk about it. Go away." Helpful compassionate empathy elicited that refrain. I was in a panic. Quick, what do I do? I can't let her bail 'n fail. She'll develop a phobia for sure.

You want to know what worked? Rank bribery. My own wise mother and my dear friend A both pointed out that rank bribery has it's place. I prefer to call it: motivating for sparkly shiny things to make up for the super lame red T shirts, with bonus option of keeping the sparklies. Here we give a shout out to The Children's Place, where we acquired five sparkly pink items, 3 for Chispa, and naturally, 2 for little Changa, for a mere $11.49. Thanks for the tip A! Mind you, I did this at 5pm so we were threading the needle on time, but I'll be darned if those fantastic, beautiful sparkly pink hair and jewelry items didn't make for a happy Chispa.

She ate dinner, she momentarily looked cowed in the dressing area, but she marched on, and sang her little heart out, doing every choreographed gesture, every note of the songs. Mr. H and I were so happy for her, and so relieved. We all won the gold medal. I feel I won one for getting her to go up there. We got one for watching her shine. And she got one. "It wasn't scary once I was up there, it was just like practice, and Mommy, I got that proud feeling!!!!"

PS The next 2 performances went well too, and Chispa is all ready for next year's show!