A Rabbi's Take on CA Prop. 8

Our fabulous friend Rabbi Rachel wrote this, and it is so well written I felt it worth posting here!

A Rabbi's Take on CA Prop 8

As a religious leader in a denomination filled with both ardent proponents of gay marriage and passionate supporters of traditional arguments against it, I feel called to offer a challenge to my friends, loved ones, and acquaintances to re-examine Proposition 8 in a more meaningful way than the rhetoric of advertising campaigns can allow. I'd like you to open your mind to a few arguments against Prop 8 from my perspective--the perspective of someone who is religiously committed, supports the rights of my fellow clergy to limit marriage to heterosexual couples, and cares about protecting religious freedom.

1. Civil marriage is not the same as religious marriage. This seems like common-sense, but it is important to consider the differences between civil marriage and religious marriage. Religious marriages add holiness to committed relationships in the eyes of God and their community. Religious marriages make sexuality sacred. Religious marriages involve responsibilities and rights that are mostly unenforceable by civil law.

2. Civil marriage is not about sex. Although sexuality is a sanctified part of religious marriage, civil marriage has nothing to do with sexuality. Civil marriage does not make legal sexual relations between partners; it doesn't forbid partners from sexual relations with anyone else. Prop 8 will not decrease the practice of sexual activities with which you may disagree.

3. Civil marriage is about legal rights such as inheritance and health-care decisions. If civil marriage isn't about sexuality, what is it about? It is about allowing human beings the right to choose the person who is responsible for them if they are critical injured or ill. It is about allowing people to inherit the home they shared with a loved one who has passed away.

4. Civil marriage is about responsibility. Civil marriage allows people to accept primary responsibility for the health and well-being of their loved ones. Rather than endorsing a selfish "lifestyle", civil marriage encourages couples to take their personal attachments more seriously, transforming them into committed relationships. The types of responsibilities accepted by couples marrying according to the laws of California are similar to those possessed by blood relatives; in a way, civil marriage is choosing your next-of-kin rather than your sexual partner.

5. Proposition 8 will not stop gays or lesbians from marrying one another or becoming parents together. Just because the state won't recognize their unions, numerous religious communities will continue to marry gays and lesbians. You will still have to explain to your child or grandchild why their classmate has two mommies or an uncle who's marrying a man in a way that is sensitive to the feelings of your child's young friend and respects your family's religious beliefs. As an educator who has worked for years in our state and often in religious schools that did not promote gay religious marriage, I can tell you that our own religious group's non-acceptance of marriage between two men or two women did not stop my students from asking questions about it.

6. Most importantly, PROPOSITION 8 THREATENS RELIGIOUS FREEDOM: Religious communities must have the right to determine for themselves and their followers what the definition of proper, holy relationship is. Just as you want the right to define for yourself and your family what a marriage is, so too should other families be allowed to decide what a marriage is. A "yes" vote on Prop 8 is equivalent to a Jew saying that a Christian must fast on Yom Kippur, a Methodist insisting that Catholics ignore the Pope's teachings, or a Muslim forbidding non-Muslims from eating pork. LET EVERY RELIGIOUS GROUP MAKE THEIR OWN DOCTRINE AND LAW.

7. The ability of religious organizations to have the marriages they sanctify recognized by the state should be extended to all religious communities. A "no" vote protects the First Amendment right of religious leaders who believe that gays and lesbians may marry. A "NO" VOTE ON PROP 8 ALSO PRESERVES YOUR RIGHT TO DEFINE MARRIAGE AS ONLY TAKING PLACE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN.

If you have been considering to vote "yes" on Prop 8, I hope that you will re-consider your choice before election time and join me in supporting religious freedom by voting "no". Whether you are planning to vote "yes" or "no", feel free to forward this message in the name of opening up a new dialogue on this important issue.


Blessings,

Rabbi Rachel Miller Solomin
http://rabbirochel.blogspot.com/